I really try to be upbeat and positive in my posts, I try my best to post fun, upbeat, and thoughtful posts and stay away from negatives and woe is me posts but today is a little different… and as my friend/fellow blogger Me and the Boss 2013 has said,
“Angie is a versatile blogger (she has that award too) who just blogs from
the heart. The joy is in not knowing what she will come up with next.
A Canadian who does not write with an accent (aye), however, her mind
has obviously been warped by too many cold winters”
That about sums it up 😀 😀 😀
In my life I also try to surround myself with positives and steer clear of negatives, life is too short to be crabby and miserable or to be wasting time feeling sorry for ourselves…I almost always have a smile on my face no matter what but today was a little different…
Life is good , I am happy-ish, all my children are healthy , I have the best family ever, both my parents are alive, I have an awesome brother and sister who have brought into my life equally amazing spouses and nieces and nephews, I have amazing friends, beautiful attention seeking pets, I have a full time job, nice car, I’m in a relationship with a tall, handsome blue eyed bald man, and I appreciate what I have and don’t want for much…other than just one more glass of wine 😀
It’s almost 11 pm in beautiful Muskoka, and I have had not a bad day, full of fun laundry, fun housework and fun gardening, and of course fun dinner prepping ,cooking and cleaning up! Breakfast and lunch on weekends is usually a “serve yourself” occasion 😀
Oh we did have a small bonfire tonight 😀 😀 BONUS
back to the moaning,
All day my mind has been busy, I could not stop my brain from thinking, I have been questioning my life. Oh gawd here she goes
I am almost 45, probably pre menopausal, I have 4 children, I’ve almost as some say … had two families. although I don’t see it that way, in my eyes I have 1.
My children are 11,14, 23 and almost 27, so I guess in a sense that is two families…. hmmm. 😀
Well today I have been questioning the direction my life is going, is this really what I am supposed be doing? Cooking , cleaning blah blah blah, I suppose as a mother that is part of the “job description”, but I need to find the middle ground.
I have been questioning my job,relationship,friendships, generally, my life .
I have been feeling like everyone’s personal assistant, driving here and there, being responsible for grocery shopping , cleaning, cooking, laundry, feeding pets you name it , it’s my job!!!! Not to mention my “day time” job!! I feel like a freaking robot! and unappreciated.
I’m getting really pissed off sorry mum with everyone, when did my life stop???? I seem to have lost myself again…
I don’t do much anymore that I like to do because I’m busy making sure everyone else is taken care of….oh please no applause necessary 😀
I also have not been feeling well the last few days and that does not help, I get a little spooked when I don’t feel quite right and get angry and resentful when I have to keep going…when all I want to do and should do is rest. I know, I know I should say “hey guys step up and help me out..” but I don’t such a martyr 🙂 I just feel like they should “step up” on their own and care about me for a change, why should I have to ask, they don’t.
I am my own worst enemy and I know it, I am very independent and stubborn and probably don’t give them room to help ….
As I have said before tomorrow is a new day and I probably just need some sleep.
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy it will be Monday tomorrow uggghhhh
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Angies Grapevine 
I hear you! Rest assured it’ll change. Seriously, who doesn’t have days like that and thoughts like that, truth be told? Sending you a big huge messy cyber hug and not going to offer my cheap advise, lol, just being a cyber friend who’s here and likes you! Paulette
Wow ! That’s my that is my very first “big huge messy cyber hug” Thank you. 😀 😀
P.S. I love that photo. I think I’ve seen that face in my mirror!
LOL!!
A little truth telling never hurt anyone Angie – both here on your blog, and to all those people in your life who should be doing their share to help. However it sounds to me like you’ll have to be the one to get the ball rolling. Like I said – a little truth-telling never hurt anyone.
Excellent post.
Blessings and good luck
Alison
I totally agree, we just get so wrapped up in the “busy-ness” around here and fall into our “roles”…I will be scheduling a “truth-telling” meeting in the very near future 🙂 I do believe it’s time. 😀 Thank you for your thoughts!!
Oh my goodness I do know how that can go – the falling into ‘roles’ thing, and the busyness – it just seems to take over, and I think it takes real strength and courage to make change. Good luck!! 🙂
I just need to learn how to communicate…a friend of mine nicknamed me “non confrontational Ang” I hate rocking the boat and conflict , I think this is why I remain “silent” 😀
It’s hard holding on to positives when negatives are holding on to you.
🙂
It is isn’t it, I usually do a pretty good job, but every so often WHAM! 🙂
Love you honesty. We must continue to re-define ourselves every stage of our lives. Your thoughts reflect a deep love for your family and respect for what your life has given to you so far. It is just time to reflect on the next stage. Ah..these are the times I feel most alive, because I know that my mind is sifting through all the alternatives. I am a little farther along on my time line than you are. I thought that perhaps I had finished my reflections etc. Fortunately, I still have these moments. I was with my mother today, who is in her 80’s. She told me that she is learning to redefine her life after the passing of my father. Which goes along with my quote for the day (I start the day with a quote) by Albert Camus:
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
― Albert Camus
I enjoy following your blog!!! Whatever you decide, I know that you will be amazing.
I love the quote…. I usually do “live” I just falter from time to time. 😀 Thank you for your kind words and words of wisdom too, I suppose all through our lives we have to redefine ourselves like your mother, it’s just another chapter. 😀
Thank you again my most “faithful follower” 😀
And I also enjoy following your blog, I am always learning something during your “history” lessons 😀
It is joy to follow you! I have learned that I do not have time to read all of the books, travel to all of the places in the world, or for that matter, make all of the mistakes. I must tag along with those who have experienced it before me…
That is why I like blogging so much – sharing knowledge and experiences is the very best gift of all!!!
😀 Thank you!!
I don’t recall your writing such a long post before. Your posts are always happy and funny and up lifting to me. 🙂
I think we all question what we do everyday. I wish I were closer to family and had more to do. I don’t believe anyone depends on me for anything and that can give one a sense of worthlessness.
Sometimes it is good to tell others how we feel. They really may not know. But it is hard to explain.
It’s not about complainin’
It’s just about explainin’
WOW you really do have two families.
😀 Oh Ms. Ladysighs you always know what to say 😀 I suppose we all have times in our lives when we are not entirely “fulfilled” that was a little too deep 😀 😀 I do hate complainin’ and thank you for making me smile and look at things a little differently. 😀
I am glad you posted this too. Some of us just bottle it all up and the pressure can build up and go off like some of those champagne cocktails you post about.
That usually what I do POP!! I do love bubbly!! 😀
Sweet you,
I’ve an award for you, for the person who you are and the things you share with the world
http://summer4soul.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/peace-is-a-free-choice-so-is-this-award/
Thank you for that..
Namasté, Summer
Thank you 😀 What a wonderful award to receive…:D 😀
You’re welcome. Thanks to you to. Have a peaceful day : )
😀
❤ Hopefully you feel better after some rest. It's very easy to lose yourself somewhere along the line when you're a mother… especially when you've been actively mothering as long as you have been! Set aside some time to yourself on the weekend to do something you enjoy… and hopefully you'll snap back to the awesome, upbeat Angie we all know and love!
Thank you Pam your very sweet!
You’re welcome ❤
🙂
Somebody deserves a trip to Jamaica – all expenses paid. I like the expression from “Ladysighs” – its not about complaining, its about explaining … your daughters may be mothers one day and this is a good lesson to be teaching them. Obviously, your mother did a lousy job teaching you through osmosis … give her a swat next time you see her will you please? If you don’t … I will! 🙂
Did someone say JAMAICA? 😀 Ms. Ladysighs always has something to say LOL
Osmosis? Really? I think my mother did a fine job, come to think of exceptional!!
I’ll be seeing my old mother on Sunday and will swat her. 😀
I’m glad to have found your blog. Sometimes the reflections we have on a tough day help us to see it’s time to make a change…or maybe we see it’s time to decide to be content where we are. Or maybe we’re just tired, as you said. 🙂 EIther way, I hope you’ve found encouragement from your blog friends…and I look forward to getting to know you better here. 🙂 -Lori
I agree , it’s a bit of both for me, I really do want things to change around here but on the other hand it’s nice taking care of my family, I just feel it goes unappreciated sometimes….Thank you for your comment and I am really enjoying visiting your blog and reading your poetry!