I really try to be upbeat and positive in my posts, I try my best to post fun, upbeat, and thoughtful posts and stay away from negatives and woe is me posts but today is a little different… and as my friend/fellow blogger Me and the Boss 2013 has said,
“Angie is a versatile blogger (she has that award too) who just blogs from
the heart. The joy is in not knowing what she will come up with next.
A Canadian who does not write with an accent (aye), however, her mind
has obviously been warped by too many cold winters”
That about sums it up 😀 😀 😀
In my life I also try to surround myself with positives and steer clear of negatives, life is too short to be crabby and miserable or to be wasting time feeling sorry for ourselves…I almost always have a smile on my face no matter what but today was a little different…
Life is good , I am happy-ish, all my children are healthy , I have the best family ever, both my parents are alive, I have an awesome brother and sister who have brought into my life equally amazing spouses and nieces and nephews, I have amazing friends, beautiful attention seeking pets, I have a full time job, nice car, I’m in a relationship with a tall, handsome blue eyed bald man, and I appreciate what I have and don’t want for much…other than just one more glass of wine 😀
It’s almost 11 pm in beautiful Muskoka, and I have had not a bad day, full of fun laundry, fun housework and fun gardening, and of course fun dinner prepping ,cooking and cleaning up! Breakfast and lunch on weekends is usually a “serve yourself” occasion 😀
Oh we did have a small bonfire tonight 😀 😀 BONUS
back to the moaning,
All day my mind has been busy, I could not stop my brain from thinking, I have been questioning my life. Oh gawd here she goes
I am almost 45, probably pre menopausal, I have 4 children, I’ve almost as some say … had two families. although I don’t see it that way, in my eyes I have 1.
My children are 11,14, 23 and almost 27, so I guess in a sense that is two families…. hmmm. 😀
Well today I have been questioning the direction my life is going, is this really what I am supposed be doing? Cooking , cleaning blah blah blah, I suppose as a mother that is part of the “job description”, but I need to find the middle ground.
I have been questioning my job,relationship,friendships, generally, my life .
I have been feeling like everyone’s personal assistant, driving here and there, being responsible for grocery shopping , cleaning, cooking, laundry, feeding pets you name it , it’s my job!!!! Not to mention my “day time” job!! I feel like a freaking robot! and unappreciated.
I’m getting really pissed off sorry mum with everyone, when did my life stop???? I seem to have lost myself again…
I don’t do much anymore that I like to do because I’m busy making sure everyone else is taken care of….oh please no applause necessary 😀
I also have not been feeling well the last few days and that does not help, I get a little spooked when I don’t feel quite right and get angry and resentful when I have to keep going…when all I want to do and should do is rest. I know, I know I should say “hey guys step up and help me out..” but I don’t such a martyr 🙂 I just feel like they should “step up” on their own and care about me for a change, why should I have to ask, they don’t.
I am my own worst enemy and I know it, I am very independent and stubborn and probably don’t give them room to help ….
As I have said before tomorrow is a new day and I probably just need some sleep.
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy it will be Monday tomorrow uggghhhh
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀