28 + 23 + 15 + 13 =79

4 children

I have been a mother for 28 years.
#1 is 28
#2 is 23
#3 is 15
and
# 4 is 13

That equates to 79 years of parenting experience!!!
Plus another 36 months of pregnancy experience 😀
So why is it today I feel completely useless as a parent, I feel like I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing?
Am I giving them too much freedom, maybe they need more structure in their lives, do I enroll them in swimming, dance and piano? Take them to church? Ask that they do more around the house?
Am I teaching them what they need to know to succeed in life? Uggghhhhh!!!!
My self-confidence as a mother has disappeared, virtually non-existent.
I am questioning my parenting skills.
Could it be because I am living with two teenaged girls?
Is it because I have been so busy with work in the past and now that I’m home I’m realizing everything I haven’t been paying attention too?
I seem to be “debating” with #4 all the time, #3 doesn’t seem to want to spend any time with me. #2 has moved to Guelph which is 3 1/2 hours away, and I can never seem to “find” the time to go and visit. (she is not happy)
#1 and I haven’t spoken to or seen in quite some time and I miss him desperately.
However…..
#1 and #2 are functioning, happy young adults making their way through the world, they are good, kind, responsible people, #3 is one of the kindest, funniest kids around and #4 has fabulous debating skills and is a great friend to many, maybe I should stop questioning myself today!?

I guess maybe some days are just like that…

“Behind every great kid
Is a Mom
Who is pretty sure
She’s screwing it all up!”

Finding Beauty and Awesomeness.

This post may be a little sappy, crazy or a little bit of both
or
maybe  you’ll agree  😀

camping etc 029

I’ve always noticed the beauty in everything around me, but lately I seem to be paying more attention and appreciating more.  I am starting to appreciate my friends and family even more than I did before, finding joy in the glitter on the snow at night when the moon is full, the silence outside early in the morning….what’s going on?   😀

We’ve received a ton of snow this winter and everyone has just about had it including myself, it seems to snow everyday and when it’s not snowing its brutally cold.  I still find myself looking at snow drifts and the way the snow hangs off the trees and roofs.  Looking at the moon when I’m out with the dogs and seeing nothing but blue all around me…and I love it!!  I’m smiling more, even if I see a funny looking vegetable at the grocery store I find my self smiling.

I was out on Friday night and it was cold and blowy, I was driving the kids to the dance that’s held every month ..  The wind was so strong it was blowing the snow across the highway , swirling and jumping across the highway and in the headlights it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen, I mentioned it the girls sitting in that back seat, they all just kind of groaned and went back to chatting and listening to music..I even noticed how the wind was blowing flags on the lamp posts around  town!  And again mentioned it to the girls and was greeted with more groans 😀

The more I think about it its a little bit like the book The Book of Awesome finding the little simple things in life that make us happy like warm underwear out of the dryer .  😀

I’ll have to admit its beginning to drive me a little crazy, everywhere I look I find something to appreciate. 😀

The author of The Book of Awesome Neil Pasricha says this:  “It’s easy to forget the things that make us smile.  With a 24/7 news cycle reporting that the polar ice caps are melting, hurricanes are swirling in the seas, wars are heating up around the world, and the job market is in a deep freeze, it’s tempting to feel that world is falling apart.  But awesome thins are all around us – sometimes we just need someone to point them out.”  he goes on to say “it seems like maybe these tiny little moments make an awesome difference in many of our rushed, jam-packed lives.  Maybe we all love snow days, peeling an orange in one shot, and popping bubble wrap.”

I think Neil and I must have had similar mothers 😀

I do have my mother to thank for this, growing up she’d always say oh look at this, look at that, look how the waves are coming up on shore, look up close at the dew on the grass blah blah blah 😀  When I was younger I’d say things like “yes mum, that flower is pretty” ” yes I see how pretty the moon is” and on and on, she was and still is forever taking photos, when we are camping or going for walks, out for dinner there is my mum, oh stop right there, oh that’s beautiful, I’ve got to take a picture.  😀

Mum finds beauty and awesomeness in everything too, she even sees the beauty in a sushi roll 😀

Sushi_rolls_by_lava_tomato

lava-tomato.deviantart.com

I now have a much greater appreciation for everything around me.  To see the beauty and the awesomeness in the little things.

Thank you Mum for showing me how to see the beauty in everyday things and people it is the best gift you’ve ever given me.

xoxoxo

The 24th Birthday Guilt trip!

Today is Daughter #1’s Birthday she is turning 24.

stac and adam

Daughter #1  informed her aging grandmother, beautifully caring Aunt and her beloved mother that she would be unable to join them for a birthday dinner celebration as she was having dinner with her father.  (me ex-hubby) 😀

Well that’s fine, it is her birthday and she can choose who she’d like to spend it with……:D

I sent my daughter this text last night in classic “mum of the year” style, it is an art that my mother passed down to me as a young child, has the knack of “guilting” you into doing things by saying things like “it would be lovely if you could join us, we don’t often get together as whole family anymore, but if your too busy, we’ll all understand”  😀 She is the queen of guilt trips!

Here is why I will be up for Mother of the Year award this year:

“Only one more sleep until your birthday, life hasn’t been the same since the day you were born, I understand you are spending time with your father on the day of your birth , when I went through hours of agonizing pain, had my beautiful young body distorted and stretched and damn near lost my life for the second time, changed your poopy diapers, endured many sleepless days and nights while you suffered from colic, cleaned up your projectile vomit and endured your wicked tantrums, while all the while your father drank beers with the boys!!  Enjoy your dinner with Dad!!!  LoL!!”

her response was:

“Grrrr.”

I phoned her shortly afterwards and we both had a good laugh!

This morning I posted a birthday wish on her facebook wall:

“Happy Birthday Anastasia!!! Hope you have a wonderful day!!! I am so proud of the woman you are becoming and I smile everyday because you are my daughter, and then I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!! I Love you very much! xoxoxoxoxo Have an amazing Day, and say hi to Dad for me tonight !”

I wonder if they’ll have birthday cake?  I have cake here….hmmm 😀

As many of you know, my family is a funny bunch, we love each other to the moon and back but we also love to tease and antagonize each other.

Happy Happy Birthday Daughter #1 hope it was a good one!!

Hope you’ve all had an awesome day like I have 😀

≈Laugh loudly, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly≈